‎Fear

‎"Do not seek God as if He were far off in an ivory castle. He is found in the middle of the events of your everyday life. Look past the obstacles and find Him." Fenelon

 I'm not a person who spends much time in fear.  This is something that God has worked out in me over the years, and I am very thankful for that.  My husband has his share of near death encounters and my boys would give me many reasons to fear as well, but as I've said, for the most part God has worked that out in me.

Except for this one thing.  Hannah.  I have just one typical child.  I invest so much time and effort and service into parenting, but unlike most, I don't have the typical expectations of sending off all four kids at the ripe young age of 18 to college to get educated, married and bring me many grandbabies.  Because of the makeup of our family, Hannah holds all of that future expectation for me.  I have many beautiful future expectations from the other three, they just aren't of the typical American Dream variety.

 This morning Hannah got up, asked to make pancakes, and proceeded to get all the pancake ingredients together.  As I was getting dressed I heard her coming down the hall, then walk into my bedroom and fall onto the air mattress we have in our room for Ben.  At first I thought she was being goofy, but she whacked her chin on Mike's dresser and didn't even stir about it.  I ran over in my undies and saw that she was unconscious.  

I cannot describe the horror, it has no verbiage.

I attempted to awaken her and called for Mike, and she rolled over and wretched, pale and sweaty.

As it turns out, we are reasonably certain that it was low blood sugar with maybe a bit of dehydration on top of it.  She appears to be fine at this point.

The fear got to me though.  I could hardly keep from crying all morning (NOT like me), and have been more than a little obsessive about checking on her.  She is fine every time I check. ;-)

I am so thankful my Lord and Savior loves this child more than I could ever imagine.  That he wants her best, even when I don't know what to do for her.  Hannah has a very special position in this family, she is such a treasure.  I am so thankful for all that she is, but I am even more thankful that she belongs to Jesus  That after a sermon about taking up your cross and following Christ she went home and went through her things to decide what to donate, and chose more than just a few beautiful treasures especially to give to children who have less than she does, and even more to sell and give half of the profits away.  God is in every little bit of ordinary, every day.  I am so thankful for Him in my life and in my little girl's life.